


I Used Too

by cecld



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Theorys on how some arcs will end, mainly Jaime arc, one shots related to each other, post 8x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-21 15:09:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18704821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecld/pseuds/cecld
Summary: Brienne stared down at the book. The white book. It had somehow against all odds survived the fire. She remembered her last conversation with Jaime and she smiled sadly. She opened the book of brothers and began to write. There was a lot more to add to the book after all.





	1. Preview

_"Its funny really, in a nasty cold sort of way. One brother let the city burn, while the other did all he could to save it"_

 

_"Farewell Ser Jaime"_

 

_"I used too..."_


	2. Farewell

She needed to talk to him. Brienne didn't know what she'd say but she had to say something, _they had survived after all._  The dead had lost and they had lived. She hesitated at his door, before opening it without knocking but what she saw made her heart clench inside her.

Jaime startled, eyes widening, suddenly looking more pale than before. 

Brienne's eyes narrowed. 

"Are you going somewhere?" 

Jaime was decked out in a different set of armour and seemed to having been packing a small sack with some food and various other objects he'd need on the road. 

"Brienne" He muttered, opening his mouth and shutting it, unable to say anything else, like he was tongue tied. 

"I really hope you have a good explanation for this" She growled, glaring at him, ignoring the way her voice shook a little, that she wasn't just angry, she was hurt, hurt that he was leaving.

Jaime didn't reply at first, she could see how much he was struggling to answer her and she only came to conclusion. 

A horrible conclusion. 

"You were heading back, weren't you? heading back to kings landing, to Cersei" 

He stammered over his words "No! I mean...yes but- its not what it looks like, I promise" 

Walking towards her as he spoke, looking into her eyes. _Pleading._

"Then what does it look like Sir Jaime?" She demanded. 

There was some hesitation and then... 

"I know Cersei, better than anyone. I know what she is. I know what she'd do to get what she wants. She blow up the sept to get what she wanted, hundreds of innocent people died because of it-"

He stepped even closer to her, his expression serious and grim. Making eye contact, trying to show how serious he was... 

"-now Ser Brienne, what to do you think she'd do if she lost? Do you think she'd ever surrender and let Deanarys take the throne, _do you think thats who my sister is?"_

_No..._

_He couldn't mean..._

A horrible realisation gripped Brienne as she understood what Jaime was getting at. 

"If she doesn't get the throne, then no one will, Cersei will make sure of it I'm sure" Jaime said grimly. 

She shook her head "If you really think this then tell Deanarys and Jon, don't do this on your own, I'm sure they'll listen after you fought for them!" 

But Jaime replied sighing "They'll kill her as soon as and...she had my child inside her or so she says. I-I believe I can convince her, maybe" 

Brienne looked at him shocked "She is with your child?" 

But he only looked frustrated "I think so but she only told me once she knew I was planning on leaving her, so she could have been lying but, I can't take that chance"

"Ser Jaime" She said hesitantly "Am I the only one you've told? That you want to leave? Surely your brother would have a better idea than you-" 

Jaime smiled tightly as he said "My brother is plotting something, I can see it in his eyes and I'd rather not be caught up in it"

He took a deep breath before adding "I'm afraid to say but you're the only one I actually trust right now" 

Brienne stared at him, she knew what he was saying was the truth, his eyes where always open to her. 

He trusted her to do the right thing. 

"I could stop you, you know that" She said instead. 

"But you won't because you'd never turn your back on innocent, if what Cersei says is true, the baby is innocent and so is the rest of civilian lives in Kings Landings" Jaime said with confidence. 

She had no reply to that.

He turned around and finished his packing. 

"If you can't stop her, what then?" Brienne said shakily. 

Jaime sighed as he said "I guess I'll just have to save as many people in kings landing as possible, if I'm not dead of course" 

Brienne scowled "Don't say that" 

He gave her a teasing smile "You'd miss me when I'm gone?" 

But his eyes widened in surprise as she said seriously "Of course I would" 

He looked unsure what to say, if she didn't know any better Brienne would say that his eyes looked watery and not because of sadness either. 

Then slowly his expression turned into something else, something she couldn't quite understand. 

He picked up his sack of things, made sure to check his armour one last time, then walked up to her and before Brienne could decipher the look in his eyes, to her shock, she felt his lips on hers. She didn't respond at first, to in shock to do anything. 

Then finally returned the kiss, it wasn't a passionate or lustful kiss, just very slow, very sweet and...almost felt like a goodbye. 

When they broke apart, they both looked a little shocked, even Jaime who'd initiated it, then slowly he smiled at her, it was the warmest smile she'd ever seen. 

He walked out of the door she was no longer blocking and turned back to her, she watched him, unsure what to say. 

"Ser Jaime... I-" 

She didn't know what she had to say, just something, anything but he interrupted her. 

"I know" He said, knowing more than her now,  then he added his voice tender "This is farewell Ser Brienne" 

And all she could say, though this wishing to say something else but those words just wouldn't come out... 

"Farewell Ser Jaime..."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is in response to some leaks I heard though I don't know if they're true. DON'T READ ON IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE LEAKS, POSSIBLE SPOILERS.
> 
>  
> 
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> 
> In the leaks Jaime apparently eventually betrays the North for Cersei and to be honest I think this would be a terrible end for his character, so I'm doing some one shots about it where it looks like his betrayed the North, as his heading back to Cersei but he hasn't really.


	3. I Used Too

Cersei watched from the Red Keep, waiting for doom to loom on her city. Deanary's was coming. She that the dragon queen would likely burn the citizens to get to her. She knew that look on her face as she'd killed Deanarys servant. The dragon queen would be after fire and blood. 

She smiled spitefully, even if you somehow manage to kill me, the people of kinglanding will never expect you once you've burned all these small folk, that she'd deliberately put in the way. 

If she couldn't have the throne, then no one will. 

"Cersei" 

Her eyes widened at the voice, could it be...? 

"Jaime!" She said shocked. 

She couldn't help herself but smile, he came back, he really came back for me. 

Cersei smiled smugly at him as she said "I told you no one walks away from me" 

He smiled a little at that as he said "You did"

He was far more unkept that she'd seen him last, with a beard as well, he was smiling warmly at her yet... there was something in his eyes that didn't sit right with her, she stopped herself from thinking about it though, he may have left her but he was still hers, him coming back to her, proved he was still hers and he always would be. 

He walked towards her and she stood by her side, looking out of the Red Keep. 

"When do you think they'll arrive?" 

"Soon" She said "But I've prepared for every possibility" 

A wicked smile on her lips. 

Jaime shifted uneasily next to her. 

"May I ask what you've prepared? If I'm going to help you, I need to know" His tone a little stiffer than before. 

She picked up her glass she'd been drinking out of and said simply "I think you know" 

Cersei didn't look at his expression, she knew he'd be disproving but really he should have known better if he thought she had plans for a surrender if the time came, which she doubted it would, with the dragon queens depleted force and only one dragon. 

Jaime didn't reply to that. 

Instead he just stood there in silence, the silence felt strange to Cersei, once again a feeling of doubt wriggled inside her but she snuffed it out. 

He was her brother, her lover, he'd never betray her. 

Instead she called upon one of the serving girls, she told small girl with brunette hair to them the finest and most expensive wine, they might die tonight, it was worth it. 

They stood in total silence for a while, gazing out of window. 

Cersei noted occasionally Jaime's hand would rest on his sword hilt, then take it off, this happened a couple of times but Cersei didn't think much of it, despite the wriggle in her mind that told her otherwise, most men before battle would rest their hands on their weapon, Jaime was no different. 

The serving girl came back, Cersei frowned a little, noting this girl was not the same as before, long blonde hair instead of brunette. She turned back to Jaime, who for some reason had paled as he took the drink Cersei gave him. 

She frowned at him but said indifferently "You look pale Jaime, are you well?" 

"I'm fine, the North just did a number on me, thats all" Jaime chuckled but it sounded forced to her ears. 

Jaime took a sip then wrinkled his nose, scowling "What is this?" 

Cersei blinked, a little suprised "Almora, one of the most expensive wines in Westeros, you-" 

Jaime shook his head as he said "My possible last drink isn't something that tastes this foul" 

He gave his cup and took Cersei's own cup of her and gave it back to the serving girl "Give us something else" 

The serving girl said slowly "What would you like my lord?" An edge of coldness in her voice. 

Jaime's hand hovered over Cersei's cup as he gave it back to the Serving Girl. 

"I don't know" He said, this time meeting the serving girls gaze "Surprise us" 

For some reason Cersei noted the serving girls eyes widened a little and she looked surprised for some odd reason but seconds later her face was back to the innocent, maybe a little cold expression. It happened so quickly Cersei wondered if she was going a little mad. Its just my anxienty over the coming battle, she convinced herself. 

The serving girl said bowing her head "Of course... my lord" then quickly left the room. 

At Cersei's look Jaime gave her a slight smile as he said "Trust me, you do not want to be drinking that filth before the battle. When I've been bored, I've asked serving girls to choose what wine I should taste before and surprisingly they had quite excellent suggestions"

Usually Cersei would have been upset yet she supposed as it could be their last day together, she'd let Jaime get some of his whims. 

 "Do you think we can win?" He asked, after a couple minutes. 

"If I didn't I would have already set everything ablaze with wildfire by now" 

Once again Jaime shifted uneasily next to her but once again he didn't retort or argue with her. 

Again the wriggle of doubt came. 

Again she snuffed it out.

The door opened, the same serving girl came into the room, with the two glasses with different darker looking wine. 

Jaime tensed next to her, looking at the serving girl, who walked over to them, giving Cersei a small bow before giving Cersei her cup then gave Jaime the other cup, he slowly took it.

Jaime then turned to Cersei, holding up his glass. 

"To victory. To a legacy for us" 

Cersei repeated those words, smiling a little, remembering her own words. 

Yes, she thought, he is mine, there should be no doubt. 

Yet there was... 

As she put the glass to her lips, the red liquid slowly seeping into her mouth and down her throat, she couldn't stop wondering... 

_She wondered why the serving girl had not left the room yet._

_She wondered why despite looking like he was going to drink, Jaime had put his glass down._

_She wondered why his eyes no longer held any warmth, maybe pity or sadness but no warmth._

Cersei then started to cough, feeling like it was hard to breathe and like she had something stuck in her throat.

Then she knew why... 

Cersei stumbled, her eyes widening in fear and shock. 

"W-what?" She choked out. 

Jaime caught her before she fell, then slowly lowered her to the ground. 

With horror she realised she was dying the exact same way her son, Joffrey died.

She couldn't breath!

Her voice called out to him, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening!

"Y-you love m-me" She wheezed out. 

Jaime watched her die, he pulled some of her hair out of her eyes, cupping her face but he was smiling, though it was a sympathetic smile as he said softly " _I used too_ " 


End file.
